brunomarsvolta:

1. Will the Cod Return, Or Must We Move to Toronto?

2. Only the Jews Know Montreal

3. The Next Three Chapters Are Set in the 1830s Bush For No Reason But Then We’ll Be Back to This 1970s University Women’s Studies Department

4. She Briefly Considers Moving to the States For Her Career But Then Realizes She Must Stay With Her People

5. O Cabbagetown!

6. I Remember When There Was LOADS of Cod and We Played Scottish Reels to Entertain Ourselves

7. In Which Blondes From Westmount Fail to Sleep With You

8. This Children’s Toy That Holds Great Meaning For You Will Be Broken Like Your Spirit

9. You Thought It Was Me Talking To You, But It’s Been My Sister All Along, I Am Dead Because of a Man

10. Magical Realism But It’s Just Gothic Southern Ontario Having, Like, Two Magical Elements

11. Things Are Kind of English Here But Not For Everyone

12. The Hero Has a Thousand Faces But They All Look a LOT Like Robertson Davies

13. Sex Farm Woman: All of These Albertan Crops Are Metaphors For My Empty, Yearning Vagina

14. We Forgot to Include an Incestuous Backstory But That’s What the Second 1200 Pages Are For

15. Will the Grasshoppers Move On, Or Must We Move to Toronto?

16. You Have Stolen My Heart and Will Now Steal the Deed to Our Land While I Sleep, Handsome American

17. You Think You Could Have Toughed It Out In the Bush? You Can’t Even Make Butter Tarts From Scratch

18. This Novel Has Been Specifically Written to Prove That Canadian Literature Is Worthy of Your Attention Now Give It To Me

19. Arctic Foxes and Prairie Dogs I Have Met Or At Least Read About

20. I’m Going to Reform These Sex Workers and It’s Not Going to Make Me Question My Own Convictions In the Slightest

21. Things Get Worse and Then You Have an Illegitimate Child With a Man From Outremont Who Doesn’t Really Love You

22. It Doesn’t Really Matter, You Can Tell By the Emily Carr Painting on the Cover That This Novel Is Important

23. A Woman Has Sex With a Bear or a Unicorn And No One Thinks This Is Particularly Odd

24. The Cry of the Loon Echoes the Cry of My Heart Which Is as Stony as the Land I Attempt to Till

28 notes

duckktective:

jeez i would love to order that thing online, but i don’t know what size to order it in because women’s clothing sizes are determined by the alignments of the planets in relation to the fuck you galaxy 

(Source: dramaticleaves)

338,791 notes

darkbluetile:

masculinity is what hurts women. men trying to protect their masculinity is a huge problem and is destructive to women and feminism. having traits that are generally associated w women does not make you a bad feminist. not doing something or acting a certain bc it’s associated w women is misogynistic

66 notes

remikanazi:

Six times as many Palestinians killed over the last 72 hours than all projectiles fired at Israel have killed in 13 years.

3,009 notes
If you are doing the work that you love and are devoted to the value that you hold highest, you are being as selfish as possible, yet you are also being unselfish and altruistic.
― Abraham H. Maslow (via organicartfarm)
44 notes

warsquirtle:

Has anybody ever actually gotten salmonella from eating raw cookie dough or are people just trying to stop me from living my life

(Source: wartortles)

569,432 notes
  • nice friend person: hey, how've you been?
  • me: capitalism is crushing me. i am barely surviving. i am full of toxic resentment. i want revenge.
  • 41,902 notes
    I just want to make something awesome. I just want to be awesome, and I want to hang around my awesome friends and change the fucking world, and that’s exactly what I plan to do.
    ― Kanye West
    Wireless Festival, July 4th 2014  (via 5ft1)

    (Source: whiskeysoaked)

    1,037 notes